Interrogation
by 10-phoenix-feathers
Summary: When James, Sirius, Remus and Lily are all caught in the corridors at one in the morning, Mcgonagall decides to interrogate them one by one. But all of their answers are different! Who can be trusted? A humorous oneshot.


**Disclaimer: The potterverse is not mine in any way, shape, or form.**

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Four chairs were set out next to each other outside Mcgonagall's office door. James, Sirius and Remus sat down immediately, their faces pale with exhaustion.

Lily stood leaning against the wall, her blue pyjamas making her freckles stand out in her blanched face.

The door opened.

"Mr Lupin," came the call.

"What do I tell her?" whispered Remus, clearly terrified.

"Make some crap up," said Sirius.

/

It was cold in Mcgonnagall's study. Remus shivered as he sat down, sitting on his hands and firmly crossing his legs.

Mcgonnagall fixed her glasses, and then took out a quill. It was carefully dipped in ink. "I do hope you are feeling sorry for yourself, Mr Lupin. Four students out of bed in one night! I've never heard of such a thing. Kindly explain."

"Where would you like me to start?"

Mcgonagall glared at him over the rims of her glasses. "At the beginning, if you please, Mr Lupin. If it isn't too much trouble."

"Of course." Sitting on his hands, the sixteen year old Remus took a deep breath, and launched into his tale.

"Well, you see, Professor, I was working hard on a History of Magic essay earlier in the evening - the one about the witch hunts of the sixteenth century. And then I looked at the time and realised I might miss dinner, and because I hadn't had lunch I was starving, so I put down my books and quills and paper and -"

"Skip to a part of consequence, if you please, Mr Lupin."

"Of course. So that evening, after lights out, I realised that I had left my notes in the library. So James and Sirius and I headed out to go retrieve it, and then we met Lily - and, well, you know what happened next."

"Yes, but I only witnessed the last minute - when the shouting really heated up. Kindly explain how it happened."

Remus took a deep breath. "It all started when Lily slapped James."

/

"Well, Mr Potter. I have to say that I am rather disappointed. Four students out of bed in one night! Kindly explain yourself." Mcgonagall glared so hard that James was worried that her eyeballs might fall out of her head.

"Well, you see, it was after Quidditch practice this afternoon. I came across that Slytherin, what's his name? Snivelus or something like that."

"If you are referring to Mr Snape, kindly use his full name, Potter."

"Right. So we got into an argument and he jinxed me, so naturally I jinxed him back. And then this evening Sirius and Remus and I were heading out of our dorm, and we ran into that Lily Evans girl."

"Yes, I know all this, Potter. But what were you doing outside your dorm in the first place?"

James blinked rapidly and then said, with the utmost innocence, "We were just going to take a peek into the Quidditch trophy cabinet."

Mcgonagall's eyebrows rose up to the ceiling. "The Quidditch Trophy cabinet."

"Yes! You know my father was a fantastic Quidditch player. Seeing his trophies would have been wonderful."

"But then you ran into Miss Evans."

James nodded. "She ran right up to me, and gave me the biggest hug I have ever received."

/

"Mr Black. Kindly explain what you and Mr Potter, Mr Lupin and Miss Evans were doing in the third story corridor at one o'clock this morning."

Sirius leaned back on his chair and took his toothpick out of his mouth, sticking it behind his ear.

"Well, you see, Mcgonagall, I got a little peckish around midnight, so me and James and Lupin headed off to the kitchens."

"The kitchens."

"Yes, the kitchens. Anyway, we were on our way there when we bumped into that Lily Evans. Nice enough, but she despises James, you know. So I was really really surprised when she ..."

"When she what, Mr Black?"

"When she kissed him, Mcgonagall."

/

Remus shook his head. "James looked hurt after Lily had slapped him, professor, more hurt than I had ever seen him. He sort of just stood there, in shock."

"What did you do?"

"Well, I'm pretty good friends with Lily, so I said "why did you do that, Lils?" And _she_ said "because he deserves it, Remus. He is one of the biggest pigs and awfulest people I have ever met. He's full of himself and frankly the worst person I've ever met." and then _I_ said ..."

"What did you say, Mr Lupin?"

"I said that James, he's kind, and loyal, and the best friend that anyone could ever have. And that I didn't know where Lily was getting her information from, but James is actually the best man I know."

/

"Well, after Lily had hugged me, Professor, I really was quite in shock. I had always hoped - I mean, I had always had an inkling that she liked me in a way, but this proved it."

"Indeed, Potter."

Mcgonagall's eyebrows were in danger of disappearing beneath her hat.

"Anyway, she let go, and apologised profusely for yelling at me earlier when I had hexed Snivellus -"

" _Severus,_ Potter."

"Yes, yes. And then she looked into my eyes, and we both knew that there was something there, something that we had never seen before ..."

/

"He was very surprised when Lily kissed him, Mcgonagall."

"I'm sure he was."

"In fact, I thought he would fall over. He nearly did, actually. I had to catch him as he swayed like a piece of duckweed. And then Lily said something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this here." And then James got over his shock and kissed her again, and I don't remember this word for word you know."

/

"So, Mr Lupin. Will you please explain how the four of you started shouting like anything by the time I had come around the corner?"

"Well, Lily had just slapped James, you see. It was bound to end in some sort of shouting match."

/

James looked downcast. "After the hug, Lily started telling me that Snape had blackmailed her into not being my friend. I shouted in disbelief and she kind of took it the wrong way. How I wish I could go back and do it over!"

/

Sirius yawned. "I guess James just mashed her face too hard, or something like that. Look, I don't pretend to understand the finer points of relationships and why couples argue. I'm sure you could give me some hints on that, though? Perhaps Professor Froghorn...?"

Mcgonagall blushed and glared all at once. "Go sit outside," she snapped, "And send in Evans."

/

"Miss Evans, I have been given nothing but complete and utter rot from Potter, Black, and Lupin. I do hope that you have something useful to say on the matter, or else I shall expel you all and be done with it. My patience is worn out completely."

Lily sat firmly down on her chair, and folded her arms. Her green eyes flashed with contempt, and her red hair hung around her shoulders, her blue pyjamas almost grey in the dimly lit office.

"Professor, I am exceptionally angry so you must excuse any outburst that I accidentally make. I was walking down the corridor past curfew, and-"

"Why, Evans? Explain."

"I was hungry, Professor. I wanted a snack. I did wrong, I freely admit. And then I come across Potter and Black and Remus, and I'm sure I saw that Peter Pettigrew too, but he disappeared before I could be sure it was him and not my imagination. And I suddenly get overcome by this awful anger, Professor, and I slapped James. And then -"

"Wait - why?"

"Because he was awful to Severus this afternoon, that's why. So I slap him, and he's in shock, and I'm in shock because I didn't know that I was going to slap him. And then I notice how raggedy they look, and how tired they look, and I - ohh oh oh oh." Lily cursed under her breath.

"Go on, Evans."

"Professor - I - it doesn't really matter anymore. "

"I beg your pardon? Four students out of bed in one night really does matter, Miss Evans."

"Please Professor, just put us in detention or something? I promise I'll be good, I do. No more midnight snacks. I promise."

"Miss Evans!" Mcgonagall looked daggers at Lily. "Kindly continue with your narrative!"

"Professor - I just worked it out - look at the moon!"

Before Mcgonagall could stop her, Lily leaped up and seized open the tall, thick red curtains that covered the long window.

Moonlight flooded the office.

Mcgonagall put her head in her hands.

Lily stood, suddenly small in the moonlight - light that could hold power than she would ever have.

Her red hair fell down her blue pajama back and glowed in the eerie light.

"Miss Evans," said Mcgonagall, her head up now, and her eyes more kind. "Please tell Potter, Black, and Lupin that they are excused from any punishment to do with this matter. Mention my apologies, and tell them to go straight to bed. You might as well go too, I suppose - though no more midnight snacks for you."

"Of course, Professor."

Lily pushed her chair back into the desk, and headed to the door.

"Evans, how did you know?"

Lily hesitated, her hand on the handle. "I worked it out in third year, Professor. Remus kept disappearing at a certain time each month. It's not that hard to figure out."

Mcgonagall shook her head slowly. "We need more witches like you, Evans." She caught herself then, and said in a sterner tone, "Off to bed, now."

"Of course, Professor."

Lily gave a faint smile, before closing the door carefully behind her.

Moonlight flooded in through the curtains, and Minerva stared at it for a moment, letting its pale light seep into her bones.

Then she got up and quickly closed the curtains.

It was bright enough without the moon.

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 _So that was a silly little oneshot that I wrote at midnight last night :) Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading! Reviews make my heart happy!_


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